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Sexual Aspect of Love
Every one of us, as well as actually all embodied people, appeared in the material world owing to sex. Is it not absurd to deny sex then?
But sex is not only a means of reproduction, but also a way of developing one’s emotional sphere in the required direction, a method of attaining refinement of consciousness, tenderness, and caring attention — which are the most important qualities on the Path to God.
Various taboos against sex and defilement of it in some
religious sects are indications of perversity of those sects and their being
engrossed in the tamas guna.
But on the other hand, God does not approve of being obsessed with sex, when finding new sexual adventure becomes the main purpose of one’s life. God points those people at their being deluded by, for example, sending them various diseases.
Sex plays a socializing role in any healthy person’s ontogenesis (development in the current incarnation) starting from pubescence (and this has been demonstrated also in experiments on animals). Sex hormones generated in the body make people attract to each other, start studying features of other people and ways of communicating with them.
Sexual relationships highlight sometimes diametrically opposite personal qualities of people. Some people give themselves and their love for their partners; they care for them. People of the opposite end demand pleasures for themselves, express selfishness accompanied by violence, contempt and even hate for their sexual partners. This is how people express and develop qualities of one of the gunas and proceed either in the direction of God or to hell.
God controls all of us to a significant extent. Among other things He does — He throws us together with our sexual partners. He does it in order to provide people with learning situations, in which they would have to make their own decisions — right or wrong. This is how people improve or worsen their destinies.
And if a person has problems in sexual life — he needs to look for his mistakes here taking into account that in all situations God guides him. He needs to find his mistakes and draw conclusions for the future.
Sometimes we find ourselves in a tight corner because of the mistakes we made in our past incarnations. This means that sometime in the past I did to somebody what I have to experience now. It is the law of karma that manifested itself — God showed me what victims of my past transgressions felt. Let us draw the right conclusions!
How should we behave in our sexual relationships in order to advance to God through them, instead of moving in the opposite direction?
The main rule here is that no constraint should be used — large or small, not even in one’s thoughts. Everyone should be absolutely free in giving their love, willing to fill and to saturate their partner with it.
One cannot ignore psychological differences between people of the opposite sex. And those differences are significant. For example, a man feels like having a sexual contact with the particular woman as a result of a predominantly visual perception, whereas for a woman it is her tactile sensing, responding to tender touching and fondling, that plays primary role here.
We all should try to always be tender and caring with each other. Tender words, a sincere smile of love, a touch with a hand or with lips — these are the ways we can express our caress. (One’s lips should be relaxed and not wet when one is kissing somebody. One should also keep them closed. “Slobbery” kisses arouse only a dislike for the one who gives them).
During a sexual intercourse an intensive energy exchange between the partners takes place. Especially powerful energy emission occurs during the orgasm; the feeling of bliss that accompanies such emission is what orgasm actually is.
These kinds of energy are very important for the proper functioning of the human organism, as well as for spiritual work. This is why everyone should try to give their energy to their partner; this is a very valuable gift, of course provided that the energy is pure and subtle.
… The problem of saving energy for meditative work does exist. We certainly should try to get rid of everything that is unnecessary, of everything that interferes with our spiritual growth (acts of service according to karma yoga principles are necessary). Sex with inadequate partners is a typical example of energy squandering. One is really wasting energy when having sex in such a way.
But who are those — the inadequate partners? And who are the adequate ones? The adequate partners are the people whose level of energetic purity is similar to ours and who are at about the same level of spiritual advancement, including the level of refinement and the size of consciousness, as we are. But those, who are at fundamentally lower stages of their evolution for the time being, who are still energetically impure and who lead a non-spiritual way of life, possessing gross ethical vices — those are inadequate.
Sexual relationships of adequate partners does not lead to squandering of energy but to exchange of energetic purity and to activation of both partners’ psychic energy, as well as to its growth. They also create a greater energetic stability of both spouses.
Sex has been granted to us, people not only so that we could use it for reproduction. But it is also supposed to contribute to the spiritual progress of those, who are capable of such progress. Through sex we learn to love another person emotionally, develop structures of our emotional sphere, learn to care for the other and get to know the states of peace and bliss. We also develop these states in ourselves, thus preparing ourselves to Great Peace and Supreme Bliss in the Abode of the Creator.
Spouses can use sex as a meditative training. For example: both partners may look at each other from their anahatas, then merge with spiritual hearts into one with each other — and with God.
I will mention that in a low-grade literature on “spiritual sex” one can find recommendations to avoid own orgasms. This, they say, allows one to accumulate energy in on one’s body and tremendously contributes to one’s spiritual growth… But in reality any attempts to improve one’s well being at the expense and to the detriment of others have nothing in common with spirituality. This is propaganda of a variation of an energy vampirism. This is a disgusting manifestation of egotism. God can in no way call this love and this has nothing to do with the Path to God.
And the last thing: who can become a spouse of a spiritual warrior? What is marriage for this kind of people? And what is adultery and fornication for them?
General rules here are the following:
Marriage is a rather stable union of two people, who walk together the Spiritual Path, sexual relationships being one of the components of their communication.
And on the contrary, “any (sexual) connection of dissimilar people is adultery,” — this is what Jesus Christ taught His closest disciples and this is what apostle Philip wrote in his Gospel. Dissimilar are people who significantly differ from each other in the level of their spiritual advancement. Among the dissimilarities are their psychoenergetic characteristics: the purer and subtler one’s energy is — the closer one is to one’s Goal, to God. During a sexual intercourse an intensive exchange of energies between the partners takes place. Therefore, marriage with spiritually inadequate partner hinders the progress of the more advanced one and this marriage is not pleasing to God.
God also considers it as fornication if someone is excessively keen on sex, which is expressed in searching for new sexual contacts. Tendencies like this distract one’s attention from God and lead one away from the Path.
We see that both adultery and fornication may take place only when speaking of religious people. These terms may not apply to worldly people who live just by satisfying their bodily needs, thus the rules for them are different.
God throws people together in marital relationships Himself. He did not delegate this function to any earthly “pastors”. State registration of marriage makes sense only in regard to solving any proprietary issues and children-related problems.
It is also necessary to mention that demands of various religious sects (and sometimes, those of mundane morality) that people get married “blindly”, without getting to know each other from the sexual standpoint, are invalid.
So, marital relationships are important lessons in the School of God. Let us be sensitive to His Will and comply with it!
In conclusion I will cite the Gospel of Philip: “Get to know pure marriage — for it possesses a tremendous power!”
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