“…Once I was incarnated at the time of the first Christians. I was not a direct disciple of Jesus and did not see Him. But the wave of Jesus, which roused humanity at that time, touched Me as well… I, like many others, was killed by Romans, in the state of unshakable faith in Jesus, believing that He will receive Me… And I attained the paradisiacal state then.

“After that I was incarnated several times, cultivating missing qualities of the soul, multiplying love, wisdom, and power in Myself.

“In Russia I was incarnated from the almost Divine state, having task of bringing the Christ’s Love into the hearts of people. I was an Orthodox priest. I studied very carefully the traditions of ‘pre-Christian’ Russia, which remained in small centers in the hearts of the forests. They were being destroyed as ‘pagan’…

“I tried to save what remained alive…, was able to understand a lot and, thanks to this, to attain the Mergence with the Father. But I could not unite for people the best things in these two uncontrollably diverging currents… I could not change the history of spirituality in Russia…”

“But tell, please, some more about Yourself if possible…”

“Well…

“I got a spiritual education in Moscow. It was the time after the reform of patriarch Nikon when passions did not fade yet. The ideas of the reformation of the Orthodox church were still in minds, both in good and bad ones.

“I was filled with the desire to reorganize the life of the church according to the commandments of Jesus Christ. The heart and mind was burning with ideas of transformation of the spiritual life.

“My passionate speeches excited minds, and, after completing education, I was posted to a remote parish.

“I considered this as an exile…

“… Foothills of Ural, backwoods…

“A small dilapidated church, which looks mostly like a hermitage, stood solitary in a forest, far away even from villages which belonged to its perish.

“When I was posted there, I heard gloating whispers behind My back:

‘He will learn now how to be humble and silent! There will be no one to speak with in that place!… There is an old monk-prior, one of those troublesome non-possessors. Now it is said that he has taken a vow of silence, and it is not possible to hear even one word from him during the whole year…’

“When I came to the place, I felt grief and sorrow. Does anybody here need Me? What is My purpose here?… The old monk-prior had been living here for forty years. And what? Is the same fate waiting for Me? One can go insane because of this…

“… But the eyes of that monk were imbued with amazing warmth and tenderness…

“’How have you lived here alone, father, for so many years?!’ I asked.

’Why alone? I live with the Lord Jesus…’ the old monk Nikolay smiled in response…”

“… And he began teaching Me hesychia ― inner quietness.

“I learnt to experience Jesus in My heart.

“Before I had lived in love, but now I learnt to submerge My deep passion into the depths of calm and silence…

“Now the cordial light filled everything in our life.

“… But the old man Nikolay died soon. He left quietly as if he fell asleep and woke up in the paradisiacal abode of souls…

“… I started trying to resuscitate the spiritual life of those people who lived in villages around and helped them how I could…

“… Once I tried to save life of a child who was seriously ill. I did not have deep medical knowledge. I did what I could in order to reduce a fever and alleviate the respiration which broke with wheezes from the chest of the boy… I did with My hands what I could to help his body and prayed to Jesus in My heart to heal him. In some moments, it seemed to Me that life of the child was being held by the power of My hands…, but a recovery ‘thanks to a prayer’ did not happen…

“Almost a day and a night had gone by when a woman of amazing beauty entered the hut… Thick white hair, serene blue-gray eyes… She stood motionless for several seconds in a doorway, having seen Me, dressed in black monastic clothes, on My knees before the bed of the child… Then she resolved, entered, bowed down to the ground to all, and said quietly:

’Go home, father, I will heal the boy!’

“I was on My last legs. I went to the inner porch and began praying, but fell into the pure and bright Light… There was only Light…I did not know at that moment that I plunged into the Light of Her Consciousness… I thought that I fell asleep and dreamed…

“When I awakened, the child was almost recovered and was sleeping quietly. The woman had gone…

“Who was She? From where? Nobody knew…

“… Once, when I went too far in a forest, a kind of a bag fell over My head, and I was bound and brought somewhere… I thought it was robbers and, having called Jesus in My heart, fell to My knees and prepared to die.

“But I heard words over Me:

‘He does not think of doing something bad. Unbind him.’

“When they took off the bag from My head, I saw an old, tall gray-haired man and many people ― old and young, men and women… Among them the woman Who healed the boy was. Her name was Rada…

“In that way I, thanks to the Will of God, found Myself in one of the communities which saved knowledge and traditions of ancient Russia… The old tall man who ordered to release Me was a clairvoyant and directed the life of these people. Rada was his granddaughter.

“Being pursued by a new wave of the Inquisition, started at that time against the ‘Old Believers’, as well as against all non-Orthodox, people of this small community got away from the persecution farther and farther into the forests… They were planning to pass the winter in that region in order to go with the spring beyond Ural, in the depth of Siberian forests.

“… I told them about Jesus, about what He taught. They listened, agreed with everything, but My proposals to adopt Christianity officially, they refused…

“…And I began cognizing fervently the new spiritual knowledge of ancient Russia. I realized that Jesus taught His closest disciples the same, just described this in other words! I saw that it is this that I missed in My previous spiritual quest!…

“Rada had time to teach Me not only healing but also exercises of meditation ― special methods for development of the consciousness. She said with sadness that now most of Her relatives thought not about how to cognize the Father-Svarog, but about how to survive…

“She rejoiced greatly at My progress…

“To learn at that forest ‘temple’ was so joyful and easy for Me! As if the soul was released from a cage and flooded in silent delight ― together with light of the rising sun ― over an expanse of the earth: over a river, over a distant forest… Like in a forest lake, the soul submerged into the Light of the Earth and dissolved in the bliss of being Light…

“In that way I learnt how to be the soul-Light which is free from the corporeal flesh…

“I mastered everything easily: the consciousness, crystallized in the previous lives and hesychia, mastered thanks to the old man Nikolay, helped the heart, aspiring in love to the Lord, to Merge with Him freely…

“… But My education with Rada did not last long…

“I had time to warn in advance My new friends about the approaching of those who threatened them with being burnt at the stake…

“They left in late autumn…

“… I began writing a book in which I tried to unite the true Christianity with the knowledge about development of the soul and cognition of God which I received from Rada.

“… The more I worked the more Jesus helped Me. I received from Him more and more new meditative techniques for self-development. Jesus led Me, and I submerged deeper into the Mergence with the Father.

“… At last, the book was finished… I stated in it My ideas about transformation of the Church and also codes of moral precepts for the laity and priesthood…

“At that time a sovereign began bringing in some reforms in the political structure. I saw that it was a small chance to change the course of development of Orthodoxy in Russia…

“I came to the capital. The sovereign received Me and listened to. But He did not like My words about spirituality of ‘new Russia’: he dreamed about other glory of the country!… He gave indifferently My book for consideration of the higher clergy…

“… They even did not torture Me. My work scared them so much that I was executed right away in order that none of My thoughts could leak out of a torture chamber. All My records were burnt…

“… I accepted death easily. Jesus was with Me.

“And I became One with the Father!”

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